As the 1st month of 2013 ends...

We are already 1/12 done with 2013!  The year feels like it's going by so fast...I'm sure when I am fully healed I will say the same thing...that it felt like nothing!  Even though right now it feels like forever...

I think I can confidently say that my skin is back to it's normal colour...except the spots and patches here and there.  I've also started getting pimples on my face...not those 'weird' pimples or monster pimples that come with TSW...but normal pimples.  Growing up, I've never had pimples...I don't know if it's because I naturally have super dry skin, or the steroids I used caused me not to have pimples.  I don't know.  But I think these pimples mean that my body has started creating more natural oils...hope so!

I use a lot less coconut oil now...I've never felt this moisturized naturally...even while I was using steroids I was constantly dry.

My lips keep peeling/bleeding though...very annoying and painful.  Any ideas??

On a bright note, I think I'm okay to wear short sleeves in public without getting stares and stuff.  Which means I will start going to the gym in a few days!

Happy New Year!! Dry Skin Brushing

Another year full of healing has passed!!

I am genuinely excited about 2013...I feel like this will be the year that I am healed :)

My skin has gotten a lot better over this week, it is actually amazing.  I have even been going out for short walks!  Sometimes the skin on the back of my knees rip a little...hurts and itches at the same time...so I can't walk for so long.

I still hate wearing clothes, but my skin is feeling less prickly.  It feels more rubbery and skin-like, instead of the plastic-y feeling.  I'm also less itchy, and take less and shorter baths.  In fact, I am able to take soft showers now!!  By soft, I mean I only turn on the water half-way so the water doesn't hit as hard ;)

I have also been trying Dry Skin Brushing or Body Brushing, because my skin is no more juicy and wet, but dry and unbroken.  Dry Skin Brushing is said to stimulate blood flow, removes dead skin, restores the immune system, and exercises the lymph system.  It also relieves my itching without breaking the skin!!  I was given my Dry Skin Brush as a gift from my modelling agency - apparently it is used for dieting, toning, and reducing cellulite too.  We all thought it was bogus and I don't think anyone actually tried it...but I was doing some New Year cleaning and rediscovered the brush!  May as well try it right?

I have only been doing it for a week, but I do feel like my skin is getting stronger and able to breathe more.  I also put less coconut oil now...perhaps brushing seems to move around my natural oils.  Whether it's because of the natural healing process...or the brush - I really don't know...but it is definitely not doing me any harm so I think I will continue!  I don't recommend brushing your skin when it is flare-y and messy though.

happy healing :)

Scratching is Okay...arm & nails

I think it's amazing how much sleep can heal the body.

For the first time in months that seemed like forever, I am getting more than 2 hours of sleep at at a time!!  And when I wake up, I can really see a difference in my skin.  The swelling goes down, bumps are hardly there, and skin is smooth and repaired from previous scratching!!  Hurray!

My skin is stronger and thicker, which means I don't break the skin (too much) when I scratch lightly.

Me and my skin are having a pretty good relationship right now.

At this stage of a flare-up ending, I think scratching is okay as long as it doesn't break the new forming skin.  I find that when I scratch lightly, I exfoliate a lot of the dead skin that has piled on my skin.  After a good, light scratch, my skin irritates me no more...it is not itchy, has more movement, feels lighter, feels like it can breath, and mentally the stress in my mind is relieved.

Arm is still red but it is smoother and skin is not too broken anymore!  It's impossible to see in the picture and also because I moisturized, but above the redness, there are many small dead skin flakes.  You can also tell that I cut my nails REALLY short.  A friend who works at a nail salon said I shouldn't do that, because it damages the nails...but I don't care!!  I've tried coping with itchy skin when my nails are grown out (still short, but not extremely short like right now) and it just doesn't work for me.  Every morning I'd wake up bloody and in pain because of how much I unconsciously scratched myself...even through coton gloves...so I chose to keep my nails very, very, damagingly short.  The pro of this is even if I have a scratch fest...I don't do much damage.  The con of this is that I have gotten nail bed infections...they are painful!

Positive thought of the day:  I've been saving a lot of money since I don't go out to eat, don't go out for drinks, haven't gone shopping, don't buy gas for car, and don't buy beauty products like make-up & hair-stuff.  I think this means I am qualified to go on a shopping-spree once this is over!!

My Bath Routine

I thought it would be good to write about what my current bath routine is!!

It changes all the time, but this is what works for me right now, as my flare-up is ending.

So I take baths...as opposed to showers...because it hurts when the water hits my skin, and also I don't like standing - there are cracks behind my knees that make it painful to stretch out without applying oil.  Showers are pretty painful.

I fill my tub with warm water...NOT HOT!!  Never hot...there was a time when I loved taking hot showers and hot baths because it really soothed my itchy skin, but I noticed that it REALLY made my skin worse.  It just feels nice...the heat kind of itches my skin for me.

Sometimes I sit in the tub as the water fills up...but that's when I'm having an itch fest and I can't wait to get in the tub.

I add:
~2 cups of epsom salt
~1 handful of sea salt
~random amount of organic extra virgin olive oil (maybe around 1/2 cup)

Recently, I don't use any epsom salt or sea salt because my skin is a lot better, and I didn't notice a difference when I added the salt and didn't.  It does make a different when I'm flaring though.  I do however, always add the oil.

My baths can be around an hour...but they can also be extremely loooooong...we are talking 6+ hours...I even sleep in them at times.  It's the only time I am comfortable and can relax.

What do I do in the tub?

-Eat dinner!  When my face is wet, it is the only time I can open my mouth wide enough to eat properly.  That means no more cutting up food in tiny minuscule flat pieces = annoying.

-Brush my teeth!  Again, being able to open my mouth properly means I can brush my teeth thoroughly.  I bring a cup, floss, and toothbrush and put it at the side of the tub...thankfully my tub is surrounded by the shower area so I can just bend over and spit outside haha.

-Wash my hair!  I am a girly girl and I do have long hair...which I personally think is easier to hand than short hair...I will do another post about it.  So since my tub is surrounded by the shower area, I bend over the tub with head upside down, bring the shower handle to my head, and wash my hair while half my body is still in the tub.

-Wash my face!  I never wash my face in the tub...because any water that is less than icy cold just makes my face itchy.  So from time to time I use the shower handle to wash my face with cold water, then put coconut oil right after.

-Stretch!  Since it's the only time I can pretty much move in all directions without being in pain, I take this time to do some stretching.  It's also good to stretch out your skin, so when it heals, it doesn't heal tightly.

-Exfoliate!  I never exfoliate when I am having a flare-up, but towards the end, there is just so much skin that piles on...I feel like it suffocates my skin.  Skin needs to breathe too!  I rub it off gently, and never peel anything off.  If it is not coming off...just leave it.

-Listen to music & sing!  I bring my iPod that is double bagged in 2 Ziploc pouches = my entertainment in the tub!  I am a singer, and with RSS I haven't been able to sing because the skin on my face is so tight so I can't move my mouth or face muscles.  The only chance I can to exercise my vocal chords is in the tub!  iPods/iPads are fun in the tub...especially if you have wifi!

Let me know what your bath/shower routine is!

Positive thought of the day:  At least I have a bath tub right?  Many of my friends only have a shower.  I don't know what I would do in a house deprived of a bath tub.

Sunlight

I am really sensitive to sunlight at the moment.  Especially my face and neck.

I can feel it hit my face and it makes me hot, prickly, and itchy.

Sometimes I even feel this way about the light indoors...I don't know if it is psychological or if it actually irritates my skin.  I turn off the lights everywhere I am in the house...I am like a vampire!!

This is my arm today, a little scratched.  It is more red in real life because I used 'flash' to get a good picture.  Got a lot better...skin is smoother and not broken (except places I scratched) anymore!!  My body basically looks the same as this...some parts worse, some better...they are covered in bumpy red dots!  Sometimes the bumps go down, sometimes they rise up.  They are usually down unless I scratch it, or if my bath is too hot (never take hot baths!!).  After this stage it usually goes dry and flaky...so I'm excited about that!  I don't mind when my skin is dry and flaky...it's better than juicy and bumpy!

The worst feeling I am having right now is that I feel prickly all over!!  I read somewhere that it is a sign the capillaries are mending...hurray!  I'm not sure if this theory is correct though.  Actually, When the room temperature changes around, for example, if I enter another room that is a different temperature, the air hits my skin and everything gets so prickly and uncomfortable.  So maybe it is an external prickliness (skin) instead of internal (capillaries)?  Not sure!!  But it is a different stage...which means I am closer to healing :)  Still very annoying though...you can read my post on what I wear right now, which helps a lot with the prickliness since I don't like wearing clothes right now.

Positive thought of the day:  Me being healthy has caused my family, friends...all my loved ones...to care about their health too!!!  That makes me happy.

Believe.

Most of us have never met anyone while they were going through Red Skin Syndrome, and continued seeing them until they healed.  So even though we know that we will heal from photos and articles, it is a human-thing to still be skeptical and question whether or not there is really a light at the end of this dark tunnel.

This dark, itchy, flaming, flaking, annoying tunnel.

I mean I know one girl who has healed from RSS (talked about her in my meditation post), but I only met her after she healed.  I've seen pictures of her horrible horrible skin during the RSS stage, but it could have been photoshopped.  Plus she said she healed in 6 months...how do I know she actually healed in 6 months?  I don't, and I never will.  Is it possible all her facts are untrue?  Yes.  

In fact, anything we read about RSS could be untrue.  Let's say this girl I know lied and actually healed in 6 years, but she told me 6 months...or worse...she never had RSS!!!  So what if she lied?  Are you going to stop moisturizing, stop eating healthy, or even resort to steroids again.  Of course not, and you know it!  There's no time to be skeptical and spend time trying to find out if facts are true or not...because once you find out they are true...you'll start to try and find out how true they are.  It's a never-ending road to stressful thinking.  So just take that lie, and believe in it!!!

Believing in something is a choice you make, not because it is a fact.  You don't 'believe' that chickens lay eggs, or that tomatoes have seeds.  You 'believe' in things that are arguable, like being allergic to kiwi, or that beans make people fart and are good for the heart...and that is a choice!  Really truly believe your choice 100%.  We chose to stop using steroids, and we chose to heal naturally...we WILL HEAL!!!

Keep your mind happy & positive...your body will follow eventually.

Positive thought of the day:  When you think about giving up, remind yourself of why you started!

MONSTER pimples

I've been having these MONSTER pimples recently.

They are humongous and scary.

Ready?

SO HUGE RIGHT.  That is my knee.  It basically took over my knee.

This is the first stage of these monster pimples...it starts out with a small white/green dot in the middle of a big, red, swollen circle.

Then the big, red, swollen circle closes in and gets smaller, as the white/green dot gets bigger.

Now I don't pop them or irritate them or anything, and usually it goes away within a week.

UNLESS I SCRATCH IT BY MISTAKE!!!  Then it becomes a whole new story.  I'm not going to post pictures unless someone asks me to...because it's pretty gross...but basically it becomes this huge, red, hard lump and throbs in pain for two or three days.  Green stuff oozes out of it, and it smells really bad. Like gasoline or something.

When the green stuff is gone, there is a deep crater left.  Like a huge and deep pore.

I have them all over my body, including my scalp.  I noticed that they only come out on the areas that I scratch...which means it is probably from an external source, like infected hair follicles, bacteria from nails etc, rather than something under the skin trying to surface.  I also noticed that they come out at the end of a flare-up, and when comes out, it usually means many are going to follow.

What's interesting is that when these monster pimples, whether they have or have not been scratched...start to heal, it is so itchy.  Why does everything end up in an itchy?  It's like my skin is destined to be itchy no matter what the problem is!!

Positive though of the day: I've been relaxing and catching up on a lot of TV shows I never had time to watch before I started my healing journey.  Yes it is true that I would rather go out and have fun outside than stay at home and stream videos, but I honestly am having fun watching them!! 

Meditation

Just wanted to briefly write about what I am doing to help my healing process.

I know some of you guys are changing your diet, taking supplements, making creams...etc.

I have changed my diet a tiny bit, but mainly I chose meditation.

I spend 1.5 hours in the morning, 1 hour in the afternoon, and 1-2 hours at night meditating.  They are different types of meditation though.

I'm not going to write what kind of meditation I practice.  I mean I really want to, but the reason is because the type of meditation I practice, I learnt from a master of this meditation and I spent a significant time in perfecting my learning.  Apparently it must be learnt correctly, otherwise it can have damaging consequences, especially to the mind.  If you are interested though, you can E-mail or message me about it and I will be more than happy to share what I do.  I cannot teach it to you, but I can introduce it, and perhaps you will be able to find your way to learn it correctly.

I truly believe that diseases are an obstruction in the mind.  

Some may say that this is not true, because it is the steroid that destroyed my skin, and Red Skin Syndrome is not a disease.  In a way this is true, but then I think back...why did I start to use steroids?  Because I had skin problems.  Why did I begin to have skin problems?  The way I see it, it is because something in my mind was not balanced.  If nothing in my mind has changed from when I first developed my eczema before I used steroids, to after I stopped using steroids, it is probably still going to be there even if the steroid-damaged skin is healed.  I trust that my body can repair the damaged skin, but I need to work on my mind to heal the underlying problem.

So far meditation has been rewarding.  I know one girl who had severe eczema, used steroids for 35 years, stopped, and then had Red Skin Syndrome.  She healed in 6 months from the day she started meditating.  Not only did her RSS & eczema heal, she's healed a lot of her other health problems too.  She even has many pet cats now, which is amazing because she was extremely allergic to cats all her life before she started meditation.  I checked in with her a few weeks ago...we had lunch and discussed my experiences and symtoms while practicing meditation, and we've had many similarities.  Hopefully that means I am on the right track...that gives me so much hope!!!!!!

Positive thought of the day: Everything happens for a reason.  I know it's hard, but think of all the positive things this horrible skin problem has brought you.  There will be a handful...guaranteed!  For me, here are some.  I am closer than ever to my family.  My busy lifestyle has calmed down.  I will probably forever see health as a number one priority where it should be (before I never even thought about health).  Before, I never shared any of my problems to my friends, but now I open up more.  I discovered that I am musically talented.  I am more compassionate towards others.  I don't worry about myself physically...seriously...before I would spend a lot of time being girly...experimenting with make-up and doing my eyebrows, nails etc...now it's like...I don't even think about that hah.  I've figured out who the important people are in my life.  THERE IS JUST SO MUCH MORE!!!